endless depths of God’s love

john newton famously wrote, “if i ever reach heaven, i expect to find three wonders there: first, to meet some i had not thought to see there; second, to miss some i had expected to see there; and third - the greatest wonder of all - to find myself there.”

i recently read a book about God’s love for us. it describes us in our natural state: made beautiful in the image of God, yet broken because of sin. the brokenness leaves us with that never-ending sense that we are not quite good enough. we retrace our countless faults and failures. how could a perfectly holy and just God still love…us? even on our best days, our sinfulness seems to ring louder than our worthiness. as the book went on it described a family photo, detailing the people you might see in this photo. It asked the reader to think about the characters listed in Jesus’ genealogy in Matthew 1:1-17. if you were to do a little reading into some of those people and their past, many of their stories would leave you… shocked and uncomfortable. wait, what? yep, God orchestrated history in such a way that its Savior came through a family of brokenness. imagine if we made a big family portrait of Matthew’s genealogy. picture Jesus, with a smile on his face, lovingly embracing all of them. many of whom most people avoided back then (and today). yet the truth is, alongside all these people, and right next to Jesus, we have a place in God’s family picture.

personally, this is something that sometimes i struggle to believe: am i enough to be in God’s family picture? as a college athlete there are endless bars of success to measure up to. performance is everything. when we do not succeed, we can feel crushed by the weight of expectations. when i fail to measure up to the expectations placed on me, i feel like i don’t belong. this feeling of belonging has come from an earthly measure of being “good enough”. the more i have begun to know the heart of Jesus, the more i understand that His love is unconditional, not conditional. it is not conditioned–based on–performance or success of set expectations. instead, it’s a gift. it’s grace. being so, we can rest assured that abiding in Him brings a freedom and a peace that can’t be found elsewhere. to find ourselves in the picture of God’s family because God’s grace shatters all the worldly burdens we try to shoulder ourselves, because He has already won and is preparing a place for us right now.

a conversation i recently had that began to broaden my understanding of Jesus’ love came moments before a baseball game this season. during the pregame, i was sitting on the bench beginning to feel the nerves creep in. one of our coaches came up to me and he asked me to look into the stands and find some empty seats. as i did, he told me to picture Jesus in those seats. he then told me to picture Him cheering me on. regardless of my performance that day, Jesus’ view of me was not going to change. i began to feel the heaviness lift off me. i know a God who, regardless of failure or outcome, is going to love me. our great longing is to be fully known and fully loved. in Psalm 139:1-4 it says , “o Lord, You have searched me and known me! You know when i sit down and when i rise up; You discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. even before a word is on my tongue, behold, o Lord, You know it altogether."

there is never a single thought that floats through our minds or action that we take in private that God does not see. but what about my brokenness? does He not just see all my imperfections? miraculously, no! because of the Cross– Jesus Christ dying for all of our sins and imperfections– we can be fully known and fully loved. because of the Cross, we can know that there is nothing that can remove us from God’s family photo. because of the Cross, we get to talk to a God who loves us enough to hear our hearts and is strong enough to do something about it. mathew west wrote a song called 'me on Your mind'. here are the lyrics:

“i've read the words in red of a heavenly home on high

You're preparing a place where the sorrow's erased.

and when i stand before You, i'll find

all along, it was me on Your mind”

i hope what i have shared helps you understand the truth and reality of God’s love for us. it changes everything. because He loves us so much, our present reality can be absolutely changed. and although we are absolutely undeserving, it is because of His deep affection of us that it is possible. He was nailed to the cross with me and you on His mind, and through Him, we are part of the heavenly family picture.

-n0tbyconnor