more of You

‘less of me and more of you.’

a request i feel we should always be asking God. though we may not like how God is going to fulfill that request, all we know is that He will fulfill it. we can try to run away from God, avoid Him, but in the end, there will be less of me and more of Him.

i haven’t been writing lately because i have been annoyed, frustrated with what God is trying to teach me. instead of leaning into the uncomfortable, leaning into the trial, i pushed away.

i have been pushing away my writing, reading my bible, and praying often all because i haven't been performing how i would like to in baseball. all because things haven’t been going my way – i feel like God has abandoned me. when in reality i’m the one who has turned my back and closed the door. all this time i’m wondering ‘why this?’ and ‘why that?’ driving myself crazy to come up with an answer on my own, instead of opening the door and asking God. sitting alone, feeling hopeless is right where satan wants you. if he can trick you into thinking that this trial will never end you will sit with your back to the door closed as i have done for the last two months. if he can keep you from reading your bible or keep you from walking with God, we begin to lose our footing on the truth that God sets us on. God gives us trials because He loves us and wants to refine us.

‘count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.’ (James 1:2-3).

this verse always comes to mind when i’m going through trials, but i didn’t know how it works. how can i have joy when my circumstances are not what i want them to be? how does my suffering translate to steadfastness – consistency? i struggle with the concept of if God loves me, then nothing should go wrong because i have God on my side. if that were the case though then my life would be too easy. my faith would be as deep as a puddle.

God gives us trying times to press into Him. to gain more confidence in Him than in ourselves. to gain a deeper love for the greatest comforter. to gain more trust in the One who has never lost a battle. He wants us to empty bits of ourselves so that they can be filled with Him. so, our pride turns into humility. our hearts are less selfish. we become more caring, more loving. 

overtime, amidst all the many and various trials we are guaranteed to face in life as long as we keep pouring out bits of ourselves and make room for God, we begin to see our faith become more consistent. we see the steadfastness of our faith produced from our trials as we continue to press and lean into the Almighty.

the trials that we experience are God refining - purifying our faith. we cannot make more room for Jesus until we empty ourselves. trials are by no means ‘fun’, but rather a necessity in growing closer with The One who created us. that is God’s goal throughout our trials, ‘less of me and more of You’.

-n0tbychance